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Miss Chris

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(no subject) [Feb. 12th, 2012|09:06 am]
Miss Chris
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In case your wondering getting your wisdom teeth out sucks balls.. I hate it. It hurts, my face is swollen, my neck hurst and my tongue.. At least the numbness finally went away. Wisdom teeth are useless

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IPad!!! [Feb. 1st, 2012|09:36 pm]
Miss Chris

I got an iPad 2. It's awesome! The best delayed Christmas present ever! Things are going good. I got a little depressed the other day about not working. It wasn't o much the not working part as the I have a degree and I should be using it. I don't want to teach. I was struggling with it and Andy figured it out for me. By teaching I was substituting what I really needed in my life. I needed to nurture and be around children. Now that I have Kati I don't really need to do that anymore. I guess the more accurate phrase would be don't want to do that anymore. I'm okay with it now. I'm am using my degree just not in the way I thought I would. Maybe one day when I'm done with the baby making and raising but for now I will just be happy being me. I like that. It's nice to lay your head down at night and be thankful and happy and not worry about anything.

I'm glad she left. I'm not sure I would have ever recognized the pattern I was in. I don't think I could ever be truly happy and thankful for my life.

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Not doing it [Jan. 15th, 2012|07:03 pm]
Miss Chris

In getting that feeling again. The desperation to fix what's wrong. Mind you I'm presuming something is wrong. I'm probably just being crazy. Not that that is any better. I need to relax. To let things go People are gonna be mad at me. If they don't wanna talk about it then it sucks to be them. Right?

Jeez I need a friend in this state that's not related to any of us!

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You never call me anymore [Dec. 26th, 2011|11:51 pm]
Miss Chris

It's funny how things change.
You didn't call and I'm thankful. Maybe one day I will slip back into insanity and want to talk to you but today I am good.
Merry Christmas.

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I've been waiting for this [Nov. 24th, 2011|09:51 pm]
Miss Chris

I finally had the perfect thanksgiving. Lots of food. Good friends and family no fighting no one throwing a fit. It was everything you see on tv and more. 25 years. I guess thats not too bad some people to a lifetime without having good holidays. Everyone on facebook had been putting what they were thankful for these past few weeks. I never did. I think it's just a way to show everyone how pompous you are. I do want to say I am thankful for life. The ups downs heartbreak s and miracles. I'm glad to get to enjoy it with my beautiful Kati Ann and My amazing husband.

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deleted my facebook today.... [Nov. 23rd, 2011|10:29 am]
Miss Chris
So far I like it.. but I just did it like 37 seconds ago....
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You said you speak from your heart but your hearts all gone... [Nov. 21st, 2011|04:10 pm]
Miss Chris
[Current Mood |sadsad]

This could apply to many things but today it mostly applies to my grandma. Let me explain..

My grandma passed away last night. She was a angel, a saint. Like seriously. This amazing woman never said a mean word about anyone. She was so considerate and compassionate it. Always willing to help you out if you needed it, always willing to try something new go someonewhere different. I spent alot of time with her in the past 2 years. Well since I moved to Michigan. I was hoping to go spend time with her this spring but that isn't going to  happen. I am glad I got to spend more time with her. We did not see her alot growing up because it turns out my mother is a super controlling crazy fucking bitch. Now that I am able I wanted to spend as much time with her to make up for it. Its almost like i had to attone for sins I didn't commit. Thats not really it either but I tried, i really did. When I was pregnant I spent a whole month up north with her. Just cause I could. This summer we saw here for a week up north, I was suppose to go an see her again but she got sick and had to come down to Troy. I went at least once a week to see her, sometimes more. I had the feeling that the last time I saw her would be the last. That sucked, I cried the whole hour drive back to our house. Grandma was so sweet with Kati. She was the first person kati ever feel asleep on during the day rocking in a chair. It was so cute. i have a picture but I wish it wasn't so blurry. I do have a few other cute pictures. But I don't want pictures I want her.

I feel like my heart is gone. I guess not gone, hiding, mending? Whatever it is, its not here. Im sad, lonely, heartbroken. She was such an amazing woman.

Why is it the few people in the world who truely care about me have to leave? Why is it so hard to have friends and family that are honest.
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I'm ready [Nov. 17th, 2011|10:21 pm]
Miss Chris

I'm ready for you to be home my husband. It's been almost two weeks. I miss you forgetting to take the garbage out. I miss you letting Kati scream and cry while I try to hide for five minutes. I miss you getting up and me rolling over to steal your pillows. I miss how you like my cooking. I miss the sex.


I'm horribly lonely. I can't sleep and I don't want to eat. Most of all I just feel weird. It's like I'm missing a filter, or maybe a part of my soul. Come home safe and sound soon please

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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2011|05:11 pm]
Miss Chris
Of all the places I'd thought I'd be, I never thought I'd be here. There is nothing wrong with this place. Its just different, Not what I thought, not what I wanted, nto what I needed? All of the above or maybe even none of the above.


Facebook is not working for me. It's being used as a spying tool, a way for people to keep track of me, a way for me to spy on others. Its not what I want.


Somewhere along the way I lost things I thought were important and gained things that truely are. For example? My life. My ability to see things how they really are. To know what and who are really important. And to cherish the ones you love. My losses? My mother? I mean she is not dead but she might as well be. My old "Life" if you could call it that. I made many many many mistakes based on a foundation that wasn't real. It bothers me now to know how I acted and the choices that I made pre-divorce. I don't even know if thats how I would classify it.  I just regret how niave I was but I'm not even sure thats it either. I want things to be different, but at the same time no. What I want are people to be different but if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak.

I need to use this. I don't know if I will share this with family. It would be nice to get feedback and have friends on here, but where do I go when I need to think about their drama?
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car update, [Apr. 17th, 2007|09:52 am]
Miss Chris
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]

So I may not be getting rid of my car. It turns out that my mother loves me and is wiling to sell me her trailblazer for half of what it's worth. not saying that your mother doesn't love you. But that would be awesome. It's a 2002 trailblazer, in decent condition with an automatic car starter!!!! yeah! no heated seats but it's okay because I can start the car before i even get in the car! yeah, I rock. But nothing is set in stone. My parents are going to take my car and the payments. that sucks but they think that because I have only had it for six months that I'm not going to get a fair price. They are probably right. I was thinking that I could get at least so much for it and then get a ion. I would be able to drop my payments by about a hundred dollars. which would be horrible helpful.

So everything thing is working out. We still don't have rent paid, but hey, they need at least 2 months before they evict you right? Shit.....
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